Time to Indulge
Gonna get ready now for a day filled with an awaited massage and then meeting up a friend for coffee.
/Sandra
good day? I'd say so.
we don't ask for much...
Kickstarts
so another evening in the library. But I enjoy it.. I'm not gonna lie. I've had Made In Chelsea on in the background (listening to it through the headphones that is... still a topfloor 'loser').
/Sandra
and I have ones again reclamied my love for Edvard Munch. Well... Symbolism I guess. But mostly Munch. And also for Fancisco Goya. They are just so.... dark. and pshycological. It simply gives me goose bumps. Genuily - an exam question that would allow me to use goya's "saturn devouring his children" and munch's.. well all of them really... "evening at Karl Johan street", "The Scream" (ofc), "Vampire"... "the lonely ones" you know what. I'd take anything! that would allow me to talk about them.
So! mr Examiners. You would make this Art History student a very happy camper if you'd have a question of how the notion of anxiety and insanity was included in art during the 19th century.
Well... have a bit more to do before bedtime over here. A wee bit of research about Van Gogh then I shall consider myself done and ready for bed -tomorrow I'm not taking any chances! Lib at 8:30... am that is.
So time to crank up the volume -in my headphones- and stay awake and learn about our fabulous, and just slightly insane Mr Van Gogh.
the old man inside of me.
Sitting in our warm living room (yea got the heating finally fixed... turns out that the actual thermostat on the boiler wasn't properly turned on.. facepalm. No smart remarks from family members)
/Sandra
any way: sitting in our warm living room. just had a nice cup of tea... reading about art history and listening to my new Buddy Holly record. aha. life's more then good.
Gonna put on my new Bob Dylan one after... "times are a'changing". I love my records.
Records are like that one person that you fancy just that wee bit extra, that person that makes your heart o the little extra jump of excitement. And records smell nicer then CD's... and they have more presonality then downloaded stuff (legal or illegal).
A night in Edinburgh
It is really such a beautiful city. At the moment sitting in an attic trying to start revision.. going great of course. Am now completely up to date with Made in Chelsea (I need a set of friends who like this show... soooo much to talk about! Spencer, caggi, hugo... aha!)
/Sandra
oh yea anyway. What we can conclude is that my revision is going as good as always: non existing. Damn. NO! I've made a promise to myself to at least go through 2 lectures tonight.. and I will stay up as long as it will require. Don't really have an early morning anyways tomorrow.. just need to move my firm-ish bum a bit further north.
the "oh so cliché"-new years eve resumé. (and resolutions for the coming year)
and I'm not intending to hold back on the cheese. And how could I? This year feels like a bad American chickflick with the slow but good start the sort of anti-climax in the middle the great friends that pulled you though tough times and then ending on an absolute high :D! haha But nontheless I am forever greatful for it :D Many great lessons has been learned this year. And I'm not gonna mention names since people most of the time tend to know who they are... but I have this year come closer to some really awesome and utterly amazing people that makes me laugh and feel .. well, great! not to forget I have also come closer to a lot of people I knew before but have proven to be priceless friends that I hope to give back what they've done to me one day. :)
/Sandra
I've been to Portugal with some crazy as girls, I've been (finally) to Ireland -more specifically Northen Ireland- meeting some lovely and amazing people and fallen in love with the place ever so slightly.
I've even been to Aberdeen!! ;)
I've started collecting Records (finally as well). After considering it for years from admiering my dad's collection. Mayhaps I started because of some bad influence but I don't really care :P
My music repetoire has expanded. and I've discovered I am most likely, like the greater porportion of the Swedish population; a hipster.
I've discovered my love for Art History -leading to a sliiight change in my degree.
nope. This year has been filled with it all: love, laughter, heartbreak and sadness. But the most important thing I feel is how I feel right now, In this moment! and what I bring with me into the next year (the year I'll turn 22 and becomes really f-ing old). Just Love and Complete Happiness. I feel like everything is simply right in my life right now :)
For me this is what New Years is all about. It's about leaving all the bad behind. Taking with you all the good and joy and fond memories and leaping into the next chapter.
Because in the end... all that "bad" stuff that happened doesn't really matter anymore after the clock strikes midnight tomorrow, it will all be in the past. All that will remain is some vauge memories and the growth in me as a person. I don't really like to cling onto things of the past... so all will be forgiven full heartedly (honestly I most likely already have... but just to clearify for all) :) <3
I have never really been a person to hide my feelings about people. If I say you are my friend you are in my eyes and will most likely always be. If I say I like you I do with all that I am. It is not in my nature to "waste" time with people I don't like... simply because I can spend all that time with people who's company I enjoy.
This is ever so slightly digressing from the Resumé I intended. But it is what I take with me the most. My friends. My family... even my disfunctional uni family... you all mean the world to me and this year would have been nothing without any of you.
SO! these as my new years eve resolution:
I will spend more time listening to my friends and family.
I will also try to focus more on uni work.
I will become the best pole-fitness.. erhm person I could possibly be!
I shall NOT get pregnant (an old classic but it appears to be something I'm quite good at keeping)
I will (that's right I will.. not attempt but will) win at least ONE STUPID FIFA GAME!!
I will(!) get enough money to at least go abroad. If now abroad has to be Denmark.
....and for the love of a god I don't really believe in but I like the powerful sound of it, I shall definitely NOT get pregnant.
one of many great songs discovered. It's in my top 100 list.. the one that will never be made since I'm too busy pretending to do others.
christmas part 1 done
(Yes I know there's a miss in the dates.. Even by swedish standards.. But this is just how we roll)
Christmas with mother done :) so nice! The smörgåsbord was there, the allergic reaction from my part was there, the snaps (read akvavit shot) was there, the beer was drunken.. The probably inappropriate jokes were there as well. Basically a lovely gathering of the Brogren's! And I still have half of it to go on monday with my padre!! :D
Gifts were amazing ofc. (Though there was a lack of socks..)
The Black Keys - El Camino
A morning robe (yes I can now join the senior citizens for real!)
A cutlery set (I am after all a grown up.. Thus grown up gifts are a necessity. Socks however was not included..)
And money. Hard cash. Always appreciated. Gone to the -travel the world- savings account (and buy socks account)
Good start to the holidays! But now it's officially the 24th! So : God Jul!
/Sandra
I honestly doubt it can ever get better then this
I'm on such a high right now! :D Not only is it christmas ridicolously soon. Nor do I feel ike the pieces in my massive jigsaw puzzle called life are falling into place, nor the fact that I'm right now 110% certain that the people I surround myself with are the coolest, and bestest people one could come across.
/Sandra
but: Meeting the home kids today, meeting dad tomorrow, (christmas) then an all day shopping/drink session with cissi, then going to the cinima to see Girl with the dragon tattoo with the finest Julia and Amanda. Then new years and then back to St andrews! :)
AND I AM SEEING THE BLACK KEYS IN LONDON THE 11TH OCH FEBUARY!!!!! WITH THE COOLEST KIDS ON DA BLOCK!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOO EXCITED SOSOSOSO EXCITED!!!!!!
Conclusion: Life is too damn good right now. period.
0 inspiration, 0 motivation.. but 100% relaxation
... slept for 12h. SO GOOOOD. argh needed that so badly.
/Sandra
Yesterday I was more or less a train wreck. Haha the change from Scotland and Sweden.. meh, this is just some reasons why:
1) Almost had a heart attack in the store when they wanted £15 for a leave in conditioner (ddn't buy it obviously)
2) almost got hit by 3 cars, and everytime I stop by a zebra crossing I had to genuily wait for a car to drive by just to know where they'd come from.
3) Language is a failure. I think in English still.. so if I watch an english tv show or listen to english music I get confused.
4).. there are no sweet old ladies.
5) just got off the phone with orange.. and when I wished happy holidays he went "oh, bless you, you too".... bet your arse that won't happen when I get off the phone with the Swedish SAAS.
sitting with my last essay and cold coffee in the library....
... and it sucks because I know most people are already home. mrf.
/Sandra
But I'm comming along.. slowly.. It's due on tuesday. So technically I can finish it when I'm home in a cold and depressing Sweden on friday night. But lets try to avoid that shall we ;)
Though I have to say! DAMN I've been effective today! :D Cleaned my entire room + bathroom, did dishes and a wee part of the kitchen counter.. followed by the living room. I'm exhausted to the max. But it could have been a lot worse, I could still have course work to do... oh wait.
MEh I shall soon get kicked in the arse and stop my selfpity. Mainly because the library closes in 1h and I'd like to have done 1000 words by then. But not. Yet.
nostalgia, my dear old friend.. i've missed you
Sitting for the last time this year in Costa,, with my green tea and art history books as company. This semester has gone far too fast! I cannot believe all that has happened.. Both good and bad (because let's be honest those two are always gonna counterbalance.. Hopefully)
Just one more presentation. Then make an essay on the feedback. And that's it! Only leisure is sweden and exams left of this semester.
/Sandra
Getting into the Christmas spirit.. well sort off anyway
For someone who doesn't really celebrate christmas more then to the extent that I like the food and having a chilled evening spending time with the family it can be called geting into the right spirit. And this year I'm not even gonna celebrate it on christmas -neither eve nor day. But that desn't really matter... as I said. I like what we do on christmas (minus all the gift panic) not the actual : lets celebrate the birth of jesus.
/Sandra
WELL, back to the beginning. Today I've sort off gotten into the spirit. I'm freezing cold (good start). and I've been attempting to bake. Fingers crossed it wil turn out edible. considering it's too cold to make the yeast function properly and that I only had whole wheat flour.
I've been listening to 2 christmas songs... on repreat. mainly due to the 80's fashion or pretty boys in the videos but it still counts (huh, just realized that I haven't listened to wham!?!?).
Waiting to get those firm and nice buns into the oven (please, feel free to imply every sexual connotation you can possibly think of). Then I got to cook my dinner so I eat early before Pole. :)
Yea... today's a great day. Also (with right to brag) I managed to get a 19 on my SD presentation... and everyone who isn't aware of it: 20 is max.
Good, good mood :)
todays thought.
I know you should never display any off your personal stories on fb or any other public media. But this is something that has now happened to me and I think it is important to bring it up.
/Sandra
Why do people insist on getting involved in other peoples lifes? People I barely know are now interacting in mine.. and honestly, no one really has any idea of what is going on inside my head. No one ever knows 110% what's going on in anyone's head.
damage is done ,and even though I'm not ok with it... it doesn't really matter now what I think.
I can't.... do this anymore!
Urk, When did I go from being the girl who could have a crazy night out on town and still wake up in the morning and go to classes to. to this being I am now! An old whimpy lady who is shaking from her hang-over.. I just want to sleep. And right now -never drink again.
/Sandra
meh. That's all I can say... meh. I'm gonna sit in the dark living room. drinking water and listen to kent. As one does.
Birthdays are all about growing up
Consider this an open letter.
I do feel a massive change on the way. It is just so damn unfortunate I needed to be told that my -beyond- selfish behaviour has hurt my some of my closest friends before I realized what I've been doing. But they are 110% right. I've been a stressed mess. Stess made me paranoid and anxious. I've the past couple of.. months had trouble sleeping and I've had trouble eating. I've been fully self consumed. and even if I have tried, I have not in reality actually cared about anyone. Well, I've cared.. but I haven't showed it.
I've been thinking about it a lot. And on some strage level I did know what I was doing, I just was to damn stubborn to admit it, and if you admit something it becomes real. Nothing's more scary.
But damage is done. I wish I could go back and give myself a proper bitch slap, but I can't. I wish I could just magically make all good again, but I know that's not possible. I have a lot of making up to do, and I intend to do it. So for my birthday I give a promise to all of you, I'll work on it.
