Birthdays are all about growing up
Consider this an open letter.
I do feel a massive change on the way. It is just so damn unfortunate I needed to be told that my -beyond- selfish behaviour has hurt my some of my closest friends before I realized what I've been doing. But they are 110% right. I've been a stressed mess. Stess made me paranoid and anxious. I've the past couple of.. months had trouble sleeping and I've had trouble eating. I've been fully self consumed. and even if I have tried, I have not in reality actually cared about anyone. Well, I've cared.. but I haven't showed it.
I've been thinking about it a lot. And on some strage level I did know what I was doing, I just was to damn stubborn to admit it, and if you admit something it becomes real. Nothing's more scary.
But damage is done. I wish I could go back and give myself a proper bitch slap, but I can't. I wish I could just magically make all good again, but I know that's not possible. I have a lot of making up to do, and I intend to do it. So for my birthday I give a promise to all of you, I'll work on it.
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