todays thought.
I know you should never display any off your personal stories on fb or any other public media. But this is something that has now happened to me and I think it is important to bring it up.
Why do people insist on getting involved in other peoples lifes? People I barely know are now interacting in mine.. and honestly, no one really has any idea of what is going on inside my head. No one ever knows 110% what's going on in anyone's head.
damage is done ,and even though I'm not ok with it... it doesn't really matter now what I think.
I can't.... do this anymore!
Urk, When did I go from being the girl who could have a crazy night out on town and still wake up in the morning and go to classes to. to this being I am now! An old whimpy lady who is shaking from her hang-over.. I just want to sleep. And right now -never drink again.
meh. That's all I can say... meh. I'm gonna sit in the dark living room. drinking water and listen to kent. As one does.
Birthdays are all about growing up
Consider this an open letter.
I do feel a massive change on the way. It is just so damn unfortunate I needed to be told that my -beyond- selfish behaviour has hurt my some of my closest friends before I realized what I've been doing. But they are 110% right. I've been a stressed mess. Stess made me paranoid and anxious. I've the past couple of.. months had trouble sleeping and I've had trouble eating. I've been fully self consumed. and even if I have tried, I have not in reality actually cared about anyone. Well, I've cared.. but I haven't showed it.
I've been thinking about it a lot. And on some strage level I did know what I was doing, I just was to damn stubborn to admit it, and if you admit something it becomes real. Nothing's more scary.
But damage is done. I wish I could go back and give myself a proper bitch slap, but I can't. I wish I could just magically make all good again, but I know that's not possible. I have a lot of making up to do, and I intend to do it. So for my birthday I give a promise to all of you, I'll work on it.
stop. Hammertime!
only the main feature is left! RAISIN! mohaha
After rocking out to cheesy tunes at an 80's night, Celebrating birthday parties and todays adventure in Glasgow we shall go out with a bang, 3 parties in 24h maybe even more.
But hopefully I'll be alive enough to tell you all about that on monday... erhm or after a few days. Have to take into account recovery time.
But today was so much fun! Just wondering around 2 museums in Glasgow for my Visual Analysis Essay (basically an analysis on a selected piece of artwork, between 1000-2000 words). Sitting and looking and writing and analysing a painting for 45min... I like it.
And after I had my takeaway when I got home I typed up my notes and noticed they were 1037.. yea, don't think the word limit will be a problem. Now all I have to do is sort them up, find some extra background info and references... if any I think I might have troubles staying within the wordlimit.
tv, warmth.. comfy..
this can only mean one thing: I'm sleeping in the living room tonight.
Stupid as I am, at times, I've kept my bedroom door open all day long -making my room possibly the coldest it has ever been. Not ok. However.. whilst watching tv I realized something; why don't I just sleep in here tonight? and tomorrow I'll make sure to turn heating on and door closed.
Plan. + my internet has gone from barely existing to full on non existing i the last 3 days so at least in here I can watch tv online as well. Sweet.
And who said uni life was tough?
"personal ad" (sound better then "the lonely hearts column")
(yea it has gone that far.... well not really, but I'm out of things to write about that hasn't got anything to do with pole, library, football or golf..or food)
I've had a thought. How do you find a nice guy that you find attractive (being general since as we say smaken är som baken in sweden, we all like different things), that your friends adore and that adores you back in return in this "whole on the map" town? This goes for guys as well of course.. where can we all meet up and just find eachother? Because right now I am starting to lose faith in this town that I'll ever find a guy that I fancy. And -nice thing to add- most of my friends hasn't a)slept with b)made out with.
I'd love to find someone sort of outside the group of people I hang out with.. mainly because if it would fuck up... it would fuck it up really bad, and I can't have that in my life right now.
sigh. Why does it feel like the bitches and douches always end up with the best people all the time? I think it's our -the mediocre- people's turn to find someone good enough to stand by ourside.
So yea. I want a good enough guy that won't be a prick to me nor my friends. That lets me know that he cares and is proud to be by my side. it's not really an awful lot to ask for? I'm not expecting you to be mel gribson in braveheart. though a kilt would be considered a plus if you're scottish. And I have a funny thing about age... has to be over 20 at least, otherwise I'd feel too old. but yea. that would be about it...
anyone who knows anyone who fits the profile?
