so this whole deal about the summer job....
... I am forever grateful to my mum for helping me out in getting this job at Volvo again. It is truly an amazing place to work at with amazing people, and I was upset when I heard that the place I usually work at had decided not to take in any summer workers this year. But I sent in my CV anyway, hoping I might get another job in the company (figured 4 summers of experience would help). Problem: Volvo usually requires interviews.. I'm not available for interviews, which makes me kind of screwed. My mother therefore spoke to her manager, and my boss last year, and said they do need help... And 4 years of previous work.. Well, it's good since I don't need to learn from scratch.
I have now however heard (and I know non of you mean it in a bad way) that it is unfair and wrong since my mum got me in. Even then 4 years ago.
... But that is how it works - at least in sweden and I assume in most places - it is all about connections. You can barely get a foot in a cafe with out connections if you don't have any previous training. And I have used this contact, and I've work really hard to prove that I was the right choice. Mothers help or not, they wouldn't allow me back if I did work hard.
Is it such a bad thing to use your connections in aid to get a job? And since I can't get interviews that all work require... Is it really that awful to get some help?
things that makes me swear
.... when you half way through a show (or after hours and hours of searching) closes down the internet window!!!! AAARGH! ffs... now I have to look at 2 min of commericals AGAIN.
Internet feel my wraaaaaath!!!!!!
things that makes me annoyed and things that makes me really happy
Bad ones first, mainly so I can go to the fun stuff later ;)
Things that makes me annoyed part one
-when people cut you off/stop listening/acts like they've stopped listening/anything along those lines while you're talking. Especially (!! The think that makes it 10 times worse) when they asked you a question in the first place. Hardly think I am alone on that one. And I know accidentally most of us do it occasionally.. Some people however does it more then other. Making at least me feel: insignificant and as a waste of space. Why would what I have to say matter if people act like it's not worth their time..
Things that makes me vary happy though (and is fuuuun!!)
Rocksoc on thursday: really, really looking forward to it :D and soon easter break and sweden + denmark :) can't wait to get the hell out of here for a wee while :p haha getting a bit tired of st andrews and all the uni stuff (obv not the people).
Also, actually looking forward to starting on my AH assignment. Feeling really good about it and I can't wait to explore the subject of modern art more. (Mainly because for ones it's not all theory behind it, but main focus is on what you see and feel)
Over all: still bubbling with joy for 99% of my time. (Would say 100% but I guess that would be a bit unrealistically in any situation haha) :)
spring
Such a lovely, sunny and amazing day!! St Andrews; I love you days like these.
Have had my last test before the break, and it felt alright. You know... not to great but at the same time I don't think I epicallyfailed it either.
What I love about the sun is that even if I'm stessed and worried - I cannot be stressed, you know what I mean? It's the best medicin :D
+ I am seriously looking forward to the game tonight ;) Arsenal vs Newcastle. no matter how it goes... either me or the bf will be upset.
thought from a wet wednesday
Right now I almost wish that was alcohol related but no... it's raining.
But besides that good day. Last night we managed to book the bus/train ticket to Copenhagen, so me and Dave shall be seeing a bit of Denmark as well as Sweden during the easter break. Other then that, plans are being made. Friday: gothenburg, saturday (hopefully..) dad, sunday-monday Copenhagen, tuesday and wednesday are still sort of up for grabs. But ther are a few things and people I do have to see those days. :)
So, so excited!!!!
lyrics
I absolutely love listening to lyrics. (which is probably the reason I tend to not prefer growlin' songs... not a lot of words to listen to..)
Now and then I think of when we were togetherLike when you said you felt so happy you could dieI told myself that you were right for meBut felt so lonely in your companyBut that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kinda sadnessLike resignation to the end, always the endSo when we found that we could not make senseWell you said that we would still be friendsBut I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
But you didn't have to cut me offMake it like it never happened and that we were nothingI don't even need your love, but you treat me like a strangerAnd that feels so rough
No, you didn't have to stoop so lowHave your friends collect your recordsAnd then change your numberGuess that I don't need that thoughNow you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to knowNow you're just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me overBut had me believin it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that wayReading into every word you sayYou said that you could let it goAnd I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know-oh-oh
But you didn't have cut me offMake it like it never happened and that we were nothing (oh)I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a strangerand that feels so rough
(oh)
No, you didn't have to stoop so lowHave your friends collect you recordsAnd then change your number (oh)Guess that I don't need that thoughNow you're just somebody that I used to know
Somebody that I used to knowSomebody (now your just somebody that I used to know)That I used to knowSomebody that I used to knowSomebody (somebody) (now your just somebody that I used to know)That I used to know
I used to knowThat I used to knowI used to knowSomebody
Read more: GOTYE - SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/somebody-that-i-used-to-know-lyrics-gotye.html#ixzz1o4cheORn
Copied from MetroLyrics.com
But I have an obsession with this song: Gotye - Somebody that I used to know. Which I hope everyone have listened to. So good... chills just thinking about it.
B-e-a-utiful!!
Just youtube it and read whilst listening. Best thing I know.
Now and then I think of when we were togetherLike when you said you felt so happy you could dieI told myself that you were right for meBut felt so lonely in your companyBut that was love and it's an ache I still rememberYou can get addicted to a certain kinda sadnessLike resignation to the end, always the endSo when we found that we could not make senseWell you said that we would still be friendsBut I'll admit that I was glad that it was over
But you didn't have to cut me offMake it like it never happened and that we were nothingI don't even need your love, but you treat me like a strangerAnd that feels so rough
No, you didn't have to stoop so lowHave your friends collect your recordsAnd then change your numberGuess that I don't need that thoughNow you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to knowNow you're just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me overBut had me believin it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that wayReading into every word you sayYou said that you could let it goAnd I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know-oh-oh
But you didn't have cut me offMake it like it never happened and that we were nothing (oh)I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a strangerand that feels so rough
(oh)
No, you didn't have to stoop so lowHave your friends collect you recordsAnd then change your number (oh)Guess that I don't need that thoughNow you're just somebody that I used to know
Somebody that I used to knowSomebody (now your just somebody that I used to know)That I used to knowSomebody that I used to knowSomebody (somebody) (now your just somebody that I used to know)That I used to know
I used to knowThat I used to knowI used to knowSomebody
Read more: GOTYE - SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/somebody-that-i-used-to-know-lyrics-gotye.html#ixzz1o4cheORn
Copied from MetroLyrics.com
headache, stomach pains and anxiety...
...must be Presentation day.
I usually am not that bad with presentations. And I am proud of what I have done, I hope I can deliver it clear and stuctured as I have during my mirror practises. It's just the fact that... I have done so much work for it! I really want to do amazing. And that we do open criticism after the presentation... sucks donkey balls. I know I look down, I know I look into my papers, I know I say a lot of "erhm"... I know. I try not to but I do. Don't need 8 strangers to tell me. meh.
oh feck. why am I stressing out. I've done the best I can preperation wise. I know my topic, I'll take questions then in necessary. I'm fucking awesome end off. (+.... it's the essay that will latter grade wise anyway)
beginning to feel better. Hahaha crazy person talk always does the trick.
bla
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don’t.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy.
They just promised it would be worth it.
urgh. Slightly panic-ing over my presentation tomorrow that is not quuuuite done yet.
And I have realised a major dislike over early mornings. a 9am tutorial - Bad, bad idea. This morning getting out of bed was close to impossible. So warm, sooooo comfy. And I just wanted to curl up into a wee ball and stay. But no. MEh out i the cold and the rain feeling as alive like the mice we found in our mice-traps.
it's days like these cheesy quotes are the best medicine. And a shower. Shower's are good as well + I've found the direct correlation between a clean and nice smelling odor and the amount of people avoiding you in classes.
Another Library night in store for ms Brogren
... Not that I'm complaining. Hard work tonight and tomorrow will allow me to take toorrow night off to help Sophie with her Charity collection. + That means I will be able to go out on Saturday and have the most amazing time at FS with all the cool cats.
Lots of fun in store this comming month: hence a lot of planing and hard work during the weeks. e.g. Rave Bop next week. Rocksoc will be rolling as usual and a trip home to Sweden during easter :) Which will be fun as Dave is coming along so I now have to plan something to do... besides going to either Denmark or Norway.
Putting on some Swedish radio and shall now dive into the topic of spiritualism in abstract art. SOunds a bit effy... appears to be a bit effy... but after reading a lot about the subject I can say I have a hole new appreciation for modern art. Slightly in love with Kandinsky and Mondrian at the moment. Which should be very helpful in writing this essay ;) And making it easy to do a presentation about it. Being passionate about your subject tends to help..
Piet Mondrian
Kandinsky - composition VII (1913)
Pancake day
happy pancake day everyone. I have been roaming the aisles of tesco in search for topping for todays pancakes. What I have in store for todays pancake frenzy:
Peaches
Strawberries
raspberries
bananas
blueberries
Chocolate spread
Raspberry jam
maple syrap
walnuts nuts
om nom nom
"dilatory rigmarole"
I have realised quite reasently how happy I am for being me. I used to hate every inch of my body as the insecure teen most of us have been at some point in our life.
I'm never gonna be a super skinny person, I've realised this.. (mainly because super cheesy natchos and chocolate are far too damn good to resist)
I have also slowly come to terms that I cannot be everyones best friends. Some people are best just not being involved in your life, not because they are bad people in anyway but simply becuase the two of you don't go together. No need to be rude to one another still. I hope you all know what I mean.
I have realised a long time ago that maybe I won't love everyone I meet, but it's gaining the insight that the same goes the other way around as well -people might just not like you- that is the difficult one to accept. As humans I feel like we are constantly on the search for peoples acceptance of us.
I find this really difficult. As a person who is used to please everyone in my surrounding, at times bending over backwards to become whoever they would like me to be.. and for what? just to gain their friendship?
no more.
recently (like yesterday) I decided to adapt the mindset that if a person won't like you for who you are they are simply not worthy of your time. I am a loving and caring person who would never hurt a fly and am forgiving as few, and I know I'll meet hundreds of people in my life that either won't see that side, or will take advantage of it. I need to step up now and take my space before I leave uni and get run over by people everywhere.
Why I realised this? simple. I've felt (lets be honest) a bit low at times. Filled with fatigue and unease. When do I feel like best? When I'm with the people who knows me, the people that I have come to terms with accepts me for who I am... the people that I just feel 110% myself around. The people that I feel listens to me as well. No masks, no pretend.
There are always gonna be people that suck out your energy, and I know that at times friends have down periods and need some of your energy and time. And that is fully ok!! But it is the people that never, ever, give you anything back in return that is the issue. True friendship is about giving and taking. Talking as well as listening. Without that--- then I don't know, I just don't think it's ever gonna be a proper honest friendship.
I need, like a lot of people out there, to realise my own worth and not the worth of what other people put on me.
things i need to learn.
I know it's simply sometimes just me being me, and I do know it is sometimes me being.. Well a woman nd reading to much into things. I even know that at times starting things... But then at the same time, am I awful to state this openly(?), I do hold grudge. Many people do. Try not to.. But at times I can't help it. People's look and tone of voice can remind me of shit things that has happened to me.
RockSoc
time to visit the atm, and then spend it all at RockSoc.... because it's rag week! charity is worth spending money on :)
not drinking... a lot. haha did have a night out yesterday, and I still can't really do 2 nights in a row. But that doesn't mean I have to miss out on a good night ;) Also; tied in black is one of my favourite themes. Finally get to rock a black tie in public, with my high (hiiiigh) heels, denim shorts and shirt. I just love it. fact.
My honest opinion about Valentine's Day
I'm quite split about it. Have always been... but not because of the fact that I've been single or not but mainly because my idea of Valentine's day never seem to match anyone elses...and well. Sorry, but I do prefer mine.
I didn't use to be bitter about it. I didn't really use to care about it at all.. for me it has been another day in the week however people keep putting expectiations on it. People keep reminding me of it
"oooh if you're single it's the most miserable day of the year because all couples are extra cute blablabla" - As a person who has celebrated plenty of Valetines single... not really. But if you keep reminding me about how miserable the day is then yeah! guess what, like magic I feel quite like shit and am gonna hate the day.
For me Valentine's day isn't about couples persey... it's about love in general. You know the classical idea of your friends and family. In Sweden we call it "All Hearts Day" and I think it's more applicable to my idea. Then yes, I do't mind then if couples have a night together (if you think about it I'm sure they do other times of the year and no one so much as thinks twice about it)
I know that a lot of people read this and think "what do you know, you're not single" WELL... I think after 20 single valentine's days I sort of have my idea thought out... and nothing has changed. I never envied the people that went out with their partner. I enjoyed a quiet night at home instead.
I do think Valentines is over commercialised and I do think it's just a day that puts unwanted pressure on people. So many of my friends male and female have told me that when a girl says "no thanks, lets not do presents" they are lying... erhm.. I'm not. I'd like to spend time together.. time is all I really would like, stuff? not the highest on my priority list. When did all that get mixed with expencive jewlery? all I know is that: I've been away from my Boyfriend for a few days, Valentines day or not I would have spent the night with him.
Nope. I am really divided about it. A part of me like that we have a day just for love, but a part of me hate that that love has been so damn specified.
As a Single you're not a part of the celebration group - but as a non-single it is not accepted for you to not want to be part of the celebration group (does it make sense?)
urk. oh Well... hopefully this put some clarity for people what I think about it... because I'm tired of explaning myself... and I do know I at times comes across abit all over the place, simply because I am.
Love to you all <3
"Töm ditt rum på tonårstankar nu, Du sa, - Gör ditt val, ta ett självständigt beslut”
I'm just so into Kent now. Absolutely love them, mainly because they manage to make swedish sound beautiful.
First week back at uni - and already procrastinating. Good job Sandra, good job. It's just so hard to get my motivation back! Last night ended up with a rather unplaned trip to Dunfermline with Dave to watch football. So much fun, f-ing freezing but fun nonetheless.. we swedes can handel our cold (+cookies and tea helps).
And the motivation is definitely not easily comming back when London is luring right around the corner!! :D will be leaving this bubble on friday night and be back tuesday morning.. which happens to be valentines day
I'm still in a bit of meh about that holiday- Think I've spamed people every valentines day about how I think it's just an over commercial holiday giving people headache and stress. And guess what.. not a lot has changed really, I still think it's commercial and just gives people a list of stuff they have to do and buy and...meh.
Haha maybe this is just because I'm a poor student. I just don't have money for it.
Oh well. Let's NOT go down that road. I could rant about it all day probably. Haha last year's Valentine was spent eating chinese take out and watching a movie with 2 friends.. and I was perfectly content about it ^^
So in a vauge attempt to change the subject. And procrastinate about something else... Half first week done and so far so good. Love my scheduale.. wednesdays off and only one class on fridays. Also managed to sign up for god tutorials (or as good as they can be) got one monday 9am and tuesday at 12. But i should be alright.
Thoughts during a sunday evening with Come Dine with Me and tea.
and lovely company of course.
A Lot has happened since last time.. but I don't know if it is necessary to bring all of it up in a neat order, frankly I am happy. That's the jizz of it. I am very very happy! :)
Whilst watching a food program (as always) I have picked out a food recipie for tomorrow (and by the look of things the rest of the week) : Beef Ragu. My mouth is already watering... especially after the ready soup and toast that I had today.
AND the main attraction of the night is my eager beaver excitement for Edinburgh next weekend!! friday-sunday with my dear lovely (and slightly insane) academic mama :D after a very mellow intersemester and not really any massive raving since.. erhm before christmas really, it is time to go a bit crazy and party in the capital!
Time to Indulge
Gonna get ready now for a day filled with an awaited massage and then meeting up a friend for coffee.
good day? I'd say so.
we don't ask for much...
Kickstarts
so another evening in the library. But I enjoy it.. I'm not gonna lie. I've had Made In Chelsea on in the background (listening to it through the headphones that is... still a topfloor 'loser').
and I have ones again reclamied my love for Edvard Munch. Well... Symbolism I guess. But mostly Munch. And also for Fancisco Goya. They are just so.... dark. and pshycological. It simply gives me goose bumps. Genuily - an exam question that would allow me to use goya's "saturn devouring his children" and munch's.. well all of them really... "evening at Karl Johan street", "The Scream" (ofc), "Vampire"... "the lonely ones" you know what. I'd take anything! that would allow me to talk about them.
So! mr Examiners. You would make this Art History student a very happy camper if you'd have a question of how the notion of anxiety and insanity was included in art during the 19th century.
Well... have a bit more to do before bedtime over here. A wee bit of research about Van Gogh then I shall consider myself done and ready for bed -tomorrow I'm not taking any chances! Lib at 8:30... am that is.
So time to crank up the volume -in my headphones- and stay awake and learn about our fabulous, and just slightly insane Mr Van Gogh.
the old man inside of me.
Sitting in our warm living room (yea got the heating finally fixed... turns out that the actual thermostat on the boiler wasn't properly turned on.. facepalm. No smart remarks from family members)
any way: sitting in our warm living room. just had a nice cup of tea... reading about art history and listening to my new Buddy Holly record. aha. life's more then good.
Gonna put on my new Bob Dylan one after... "times are a'changing". I love my records.
Records are like that one person that you fancy just that wee bit extra, that person that makes your heart o the little extra jump of excitement. And records smell nicer then CD's... and they have more presonality then downloaded stuff (legal or illegal).
